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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
I'd like to take a moment to comment on a topic that I'm sure is on your mind. You are probably familiar with Apple's new music player, the iPod Mini. You've probably also noticed the media's disturbing tendency to refer to a group of these devices as "iPod Minis".
I don't have to tell you how wrong this is. The noun here is "iPod", and "Mini" is a modifier. The plural has to go on the noun, making the correct plural "iPods Mini". This is much like other noun phrases such as "attorneys general".
Some would-be grammarians will tell you that "iPod Minis" and "attorney generals" are such common forms that they are now part of standard English. These people are - and there's no easy way to say this - completely and earthshatteringly wrong. It's that kind of thinking that has given us phrases like "a new way to office" and "grow your business". Should errors be officially inducted into our language simply because TV commericals and newspaper stories start using them? If we don't speak out on this issue, where will it end? In the words of U.S. poet laureate and grammar expert John Cougar Mellencamp: you've got to stand for something, or you're going to fall for anything.
I'm sure you all agree that this is by far the most dangerous crisis facing our nation right now. Protests are breaking out in cities across the country, the CIA is being questioned intensely, and constitutional amendments are in the works. Although the volume control on my TV is broken, I can only assume that these people are similarly up in arms about the state of grammar in the United States. There's an election coming up, so it is vital that we show the candidates that the pluralization plank in their platform will determine the loyalty of the all-important grammar nerd swing vote.
In that spirit, I have created a handy guide that you can use to make our cause known. Simply print this page, cut out the chart below, photocopy it several thousand times, and give it to your friends and neighbors. They will appreciate creativity, so use your imagination: tape it it to their computer monitor, hang it on their bathroom mirror, or affix it to the windshield of their car with industrial adhesives. We must make our voices heard!
If you can think of other examples, leave them in a comment and I will update the chart. Power to the people!
I don't have to tell you how wrong this is. The noun here is "iPod", and "Mini" is a modifier. The plural has to go on the noun, making the correct plural "iPods Mini". This is much like other noun phrases such as "attorneys general".
Some would-be grammarians will tell you that "iPod Minis" and "attorney generals" are such common forms that they are now part of standard English. These people are - and there's no easy way to say this - completely and earthshatteringly wrong. It's that kind of thinking that has given us phrases like "a new way to office" and "grow your business". Should errors be officially inducted into our language simply because TV commericals and newspaper stories start using them? If we don't speak out on this issue, where will it end? In the words of U.S. poet laureate and grammar expert John Cougar Mellencamp: you've got to stand for something, or you're going to fall for anything.
I'm sure you all agree that this is by far the most dangerous crisis facing our nation right now. Protests are breaking out in cities across the country, the CIA is being questioned intensely, and constitutional amendments are in the works. Although the volume control on my TV is broken, I can only assume that these people are similarly up in arms about the state of grammar in the United States. There's an election coming up, so it is vital that we show the candidates that the pluralization plank in their platform will determine the loyalty of the all-important grammar nerd swing vote.
In that spirit, I have created a handy guide that you can use to make our cause known. Simply print this page, cut out the chart below, photocopy it several thousand times, and give it to your friends and neighbors. They will appreciate creativity, so use your imagination: tape it it to their computer monitor, hang it on their bathroom mirror, or affix it to the windshield of their car with industrial adhesives. We must make our voices heard!
If you can think of other examples, leave them in a comment and I will update the chart. Power to the people!
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