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Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Hello, girl. Tonight I would like to take you out on the town and show you the kind of evening that a woman like you deserves. Would you be interested in such an evening? If so, then read on.
First, I will pick you up at your place of business in a finely-tuned German automobile.The engine and suspension systems of this automobile will be meticulously calibrated to insure you the smoothest possible ride. The European styling will give you a feeling of luxury. The seats will be heated to your own personal specifications. Fine music will be played through the car's sound system to put you into the right mood.
We will then proceed to Cedars restaurant, where you will be wined and dined like you have never been wined and dined before. You will enjoy the finest Indian food the University District has to offer, and it will be accompanied by interesting and intelligent conversation that a woman like you has come to expect from her man.
Vegetable samosas will also be available.
After dinner, we will proceed to the beautiful Varsity Theater on University Way. If you wish to drive to the theater, you will be driven. If you wish to walk, then we will walk. I will take your arm to insure that you feel safe, and the walking pace will be adjusted to provide you with the maximum possible comfort.
Once we arrive at the theater, I will purchase two tickets to the film "From Here to Eternity". One of these tickets will be for you, and the other one will be for me. I will test every single seat in the theater until I find the most comfortable one, which I will offer to you. I will then take the seat next to you, even if the back is all broken or the seat has a weird spring that sticks into my leg. Those things do not matter to me, because nothing is too good for my lady.
As we sit in the theater before the movie, I will take your hand and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. I will tell you how beautiful you are. I will mention the many fine qualities of your personality that I find so attractive. I will make it clear that even though the film we are about to watch won 8 Academy Awards in 1954 including Best Picture, the greatest honor will be the honor I receive by sitting next to you.
I will buy you popcorn or candy if you are still hungry.
After the film is over I will drive you to your house. I will escort you inside, and we will sit on your couch together. I will put my arm around you and continue to espouse your beauty and charm. If you are amenable, I will kiss you several times. I cannot tell you exactly what will happen after that, but I can assure you of one thing: it will be freaky.
Does this sound like an evening that you would enjoy? If so, please agree to meet me in front of your building at 5:10 PM. If not, please indicate which portion of the plan is not to your liking, and it will be fixed immediately. If you wish to eat fine cheeses off of a diamond platter, merely say the word and it will be done. If you prefer to ride in a car of some other nationality, I will personally travel to every country on the planet and test drive a variety of luxurious cars before selecting one that will meet your every request. It may take me weeks or months, but it will be worth it.
As I mentioned earlier, nothing is too good for my lady.
Damn.
First, I will pick you up at your place of business in a finely-tuned German automobile.The engine and suspension systems of this automobile will be meticulously calibrated to insure you the smoothest possible ride. The European styling will give you a feeling of luxury. The seats will be heated to your own personal specifications. Fine music will be played through the car's sound system to put you into the right mood.
We will then proceed to Cedars restaurant, where you will be wined and dined like you have never been wined and dined before. You will enjoy the finest Indian food the University District has to offer, and it will be accompanied by interesting and intelligent conversation that a woman like you has come to expect from her man.
Vegetable samosas will also be available.
After dinner, we will proceed to the beautiful Varsity Theater on University Way. If you wish to drive to the theater, you will be driven. If you wish to walk, then we will walk. I will take your arm to insure that you feel safe, and the walking pace will be adjusted to provide you with the maximum possible comfort.
Once we arrive at the theater, I will purchase two tickets to the film "From Here to Eternity". One of these tickets will be for you, and the other one will be for me. I will test every single seat in the theater until I find the most comfortable one, which I will offer to you. I will then take the seat next to you, even if the back is all broken or the seat has a weird spring that sticks into my leg. Those things do not matter to me, because nothing is too good for my lady.
As we sit in the theater before the movie, I will take your hand and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. I will tell you how beautiful you are. I will mention the many fine qualities of your personality that I find so attractive. I will make it clear that even though the film we are about to watch won 8 Academy Awards in 1954 including Best Picture, the greatest honor will be the honor I receive by sitting next to you.
I will buy you popcorn or candy if you are still hungry.
After the film is over I will drive you to your house. I will escort you inside, and we will sit on your couch together. I will put my arm around you and continue to espouse your beauty and charm. If you are amenable, I will kiss you several times. I cannot tell you exactly what will happen after that, but I can assure you of one thing: it will be freaky.
Does this sound like an evening that you would enjoy? If so, please agree to meet me in front of your building at 5:10 PM. If not, please indicate which portion of the plan is not to your liking, and it will be fixed immediately. If you wish to eat fine cheeses off of a diamond platter, merely say the word and it will be done. If you prefer to ride in a car of some other nationality, I will personally travel to every country on the planet and test drive a variety of luxurious cars before selecting one that will meet your every request. It may take me weeks or months, but it will be worth it.
As I mentioned earlier, nothing is too good for my lady.
Damn.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Can Google Grow Up?
This article is a very interesting look at Google as it sits on the verge of its imminent IPO. Also, it contains this delightful paragraph:
This article is a very interesting look at Google as it sits on the verge of its imminent IPO. Also, it contains this delightful paragraph:
"Page, Brin, and Schmidt say they run the company as a triumvirate. Adds Schmidt: 'Larry and Sergey have become my best friends. We have lunch every Saturday at [sub chain] Quiznos. Larry rollerblades in these itty-bitty shorts. He still looks like a college kid. And Sergey comes in from a diving lesson. These are special times.' "
A mini-ice age may have contributed to the sound quality of Stradivarius violins:
Cool weather may be Stradivarius' secret
Cool weather may be Stradivarius' secret